Goat mayor celebrates first day in power by taking a dump on the floor

Goat mayor celebrates first day in power by taking a dump on the floor

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First impressions matter, especially when you’re a newly elected animal official.

Lincoln the goat understands this intuitively. The three-year-old goat was recently elected honorary mayor of the small town of Fair Haven, Vermont. On Tuesday, Lincoln was officially sworn into office.

To ring in his first day, Lincoln celebrated by defecating on the town hall floor, according to Burlington Free Press. 

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Town Manager Joe Gunter came up with the idea of electing an animal as honorary mayor as a way to raise money for a local playground.

Children who wanted to vote had to make a $5 contribution. Lincoln faced stiff competition from more than a dozen candidates, one of whom was a dog who liked to suck pacifiers.

Gunter didn’t exactly reach his fundraising goal — he was looking to raise $70,000 but instead made only $100. 

Kids, you’re really going to need to work on your piggy-banking skills if you want to have any political influence. If you’re going to lobby for the things you care about — Earned Allowance Tax Credits, a two-hour homework day, a dog mayor — you need to be storing those nickels.

Alas. Lincoln won his election fairly and squarely, garnering a total of 13 votes.

After swearing in and signing into his office with his hoof, Lincoln proceeded to drop a deuce. And for what it’s worth, I applaud how Lincoln chose to spend his first day.

Not a baaaaad choice at all, Fair Haven.

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