Sonic the Hedgehog’s muscular sex legs are freaking out the internet

Sonic the Hedgehog’s muscular sex legs are freaking out the internet

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Image: Albert L. Ortega/Getty Images

2016%2f09%2f16%2f63%2fhttpsd2mhye01h4nj2n.cloudfront.netmediazgkymde1lza2.c97cfBy Adam Rosenberg

Stupid sexy Sonic.

A poster for the upcoming Sonic the Hedgehog movie surfaced on Monday morning, and the internet has declared that Hollywood’s vision of the eponymous speedy rodent is a horrifying monster of Lovecraftian proportions. But god damn, would you look at those sexy legs?

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In the poster, the video game mascot’s body is seen only in silhouette — a weirdly muscular and human-shaped look. Take a gander. (It’s a motion poster, so you have to hit play.)

With so much left to the imagination, this kind of response was almost unavoidable. Maybe that was the point. 

We, the video game fans of the internet, may be excoriating Sonic’s impressively sculpted thighs and lithe upper body for being an epic failure of a thirst trap. But at least we’re talking about him in the context of the 2019 movie.

I tried to make this about a push-and-pull between “yay a sexy Sonic who definitely fucks!” and “what in the ever-loving hell is this nightmare vision?” but the internet’s response is pretty unanimous: thanks, we hate it.

Sonic movie pitch meeting:

“Here’s our goal. We’re going to make something so horrifying even the deviant art crowd won’t want to fuck it”

— Ben Moss (@twitchmoss) December 10, 2018

Oh fuck, I just realized something… they haven’t shown Sonic’s eyes yet, now I’m even more scared

— Silverbane Jackson (@Silverbane_JKSN) December 10, 2018

The design of Sonic for the 2019 movie looks like a design for Sonic that physically lived through the experience of 2018. #SonicMovie #Sonic

— Xero Reynolds (@xerjester) December 10, 2018

No, no, no. You misunderstand the situation. This is the first time the Sonic fan base unanimously hate the same Sonic related thing. There is no division for once. We all agree it’s garbage.

— Son of a Glitchmas (@AStartShow) December 10, 2018

I’m trying to work out how they even got to Movie Sonic from Normal Sonic

And my conclusion is – inhaling absolutely shedloads of glue, it’s the only logical explanation

— Tracker Christmas Blast (@Tracker_TD) December 10, 2018

Personally, I think people are just missing the point. This guy gets it.

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